WHAT I LEARNED THIS YEAR

 

                                                                                                                     Photo from Pinterest

"DON'T SEEK OTHER PEOPLE'S VALIDATION"

By: Whispers of Ember

Recently, I learned something new and I learned this in a hard and painful way. Don't seek other people's validation no matter what, it will ruin you. Yes, they can serve as your motivation, you will feel happiness for a while but that will soon fade away and it will hurt you in the end. Wanna know how?

I once had a teacher whom I respected so much. I love the way she carry herself, the way she shows her empathy and kindness and the way she teaches of course. She is beautiful and everything. One day, I aced her test, I got a perfect score but to me, It was nothing to be proud of. I just felt a sense of relief that I got the score I wanted. After class, when I was packing my things, she approach me. I can feel she was hesitating but she still did. It was kind of a surprise that a teacher initiate a conversation with me. She kept on asking questions about me and for the first time in my life, I felt like someone is genuinely interested in me, someone who recognized my efforts. She helped me see that I should not just felt a sense of relief but a sense of fulfillment. After that encounter, that's where everything starts. I got this sickness called "Teacher Attachment". It's not romantic nor a crush, its something more and its a feeling that is hard to explain. 

After that encounter, I started to become active in her discussions, and I always wanted to aced all of her quizzes and tests, craving for her words of affirmations and this go on for 4 months. The first semester ended, and second semester soon starts and that's where everything started to change. She was no longer my teacher on the same subject, it was someone else. Even so, I still greet her whenever I see her and she greets me back, that was enough to make my day. 
Months have passed, 2nd semester is about to come to an end. Deadlines are coming up and exam day are coming too. It was hectic and exhausting. Weeks have passed and I haven't seen her. Exam day has passed and I was waiting for her to come to congratulate me and I was waiting for nothing. I have tried everything to be someone she can be proud and there was nothing. In fact she started to ignore me too. I don't know what I did, so her actions made me overthink what have I done wrong? 

Until now, that teacher is ignoring me. I don't hate or dislike her for that. I just simply move on. It's not like the world will stop just because you're depressed and sad. You have to keep on moving. I guess the moral lesson of this story is not just about  not seeking anyone's validation or approval but rather, Don't let anyone define your happiness — create it for yourself. My dear reader (or if anyone is reading this) no matter how special that person is in your life, you have to find happiness by yourself. Don't let another soul be the source of your happiness because it will leave you broken in the end. People come and go — and once that special person leaves (as people often do), who will be your source of happiness then?
Will you desperately search for another?
Will you sink deeper into sadness?
Or will you rise, stand tall, and move forward?

The choice, as always, is yours.